The post that will rightfully be untitled.

I can't title this post, because I don't know how to title this post. I cannot title it, because usually my titles are laid back, uncaring, and are about subjects that I doesn't affect me like the one I am about to type.

Today, there was an incident at my workplace that made me cry.

A boy came in, probably 13-14 years old. I knew he was special needs by the way he acted, and his body movements. Turns out he had autism. Anyways, he was just trying to buy soap, but in the end, we had to apprehend him because he was trying to walk out without paying for the soap.

When the manager asked me to come and give hear my side of the story (I was there when he tried to leave), the boy started to scream and hit himself. My manager began yelling at the guy to stop, but that only aggravated him even more. Afterwards, my manager went to page the boys guardian to come get him, while I tried to calm him down. And that was the end of the incident.

Now, two things that stuck in my mind the most was how my manager knew the boy was special needs, and yet she still yelled at him. You don't treat anyone that way, especially special needs people. They function differently from us, and for those with autism, act like children, because, their minds cannot develop past a certain age (it is different for each person). Another is when I saw how the boy reacted when my manger threatened to phone his parents. He was scared. I later found out that he doesn't actually live with his parents, but with people that are also special needs. And that broke my heart, because his parents didn't love him enough to take care of him themselves.

Now, some people probably wonder why I'm so bothered by this. That's because I have a personal experience with someone who has autism. And I know the cold hard, hurtful reality for that person. That boy will never be able to take care of himself. No one like that boy can take care of themselves. To live day in and day out, depending on someone, not knowing certain joys of the world, simply because they cannot understand it. It hurts, so Goddamn much. And I can't even express it in words. I'm crying right now as I write this post, and I don't think I'll ever stop crying.


Ethan.

heh

I haven't posted in awhile, but for good reason! I reacently went back to school, and I have yet to post anything new. So I've decided to post something that always bothered me.

Ever since I was little, I never liked showing how smart I was. I always hated it, because of the fact that people always hated me for being able to get good marks, without even studying. Especially in Math or Physics, My strong points, my strongest subjects. It got to the point where I would change my mark, just so that people wouldn't figure out what I really got.

I didn't hate the fact that I got good marks. How can anybody? Whenever I told somebody that I got a higher mark than them, I always felt bad, Because it was like I was insulting them, I was putting them down, I was belittling them. I hated that people misinterpreted pride in my mark, for being smug. I'm not smug and arrogant. Quite the opposite in fact.

Anyways....

Nighty night

Ethan.