I haven't had time to write, nor do I have anything, so I'll just talk a little about myself.
I like to read. I read just about anything, but mostly the fantasy/scifi stuff.
And for some reason, I am lately getting into more and more Fanfictions. For some background info, fanfictions are stories written by fans of a certain book/movie/anime, who create a plot on how the story should go.
I started reading them when I first found out about this one fanfiction, called Two Halves, by DameWren. When I first read her work, it totally blew me away why she wasn't writing full-time and publishing her works. Sadly, she did not finish the sequel to that fanfiction, and dropped off the face of the planet. Ever since I read that fanfics, I began following them, but not continously, just an on and off thing, until recently, after the HP book came out. JK Rowling disappointed me with the pairing. Now, I won't really tell you what the pairings were, but one thing for sure, one of them was not harry/hermione. >.<
Yes, I am an avid fan of Harry/Hermione. And Naru/Hina, and many others. anyways. Later.
Ethan.
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Saturday, August 11, 2007
1 year, 2 months, and some days.
And counting. its been that long since I've last seen my dream girl (other than in my dreams)
I miss her. It's been over a year now, and I still miss her. Nary a day goes by without me thinking about her.
It hurts. Not because she broke my heart (God, if she did that right now, I'd die instantly). I never took the chance by telling her about what I feel, because I'm such a damn coward.
Maybe I'm not allowed to forget about her, as punishment for being such a coward. Maybe it's because it's my first love. Whatever it is, it sucks, because everyone keeps telling me to forget about her, but I CAN'T!!!
I'm gonna go eat a cookie. Maybe that will get my mind off of her.
Ethan.
I miss her. It's been over a year now, and I still miss her. Nary a day goes by without me thinking about her.
It hurts. Not because she broke my heart (God, if she did that right now, I'd die instantly). I never took the chance by telling her about what I feel, because I'm such a damn coward.
Maybe I'm not allowed to forget about her, as punishment for being such a coward. Maybe it's because it's my first love. Whatever it is, it sucks, because everyone keeps telling me to forget about her, but I CAN'T!!!
I'm gonna go eat a cookie. Maybe that will get my mind off of her.
Ethan.
Emo....EMO....EMO IN LOVE!!!!!!11!!!one!!1exclamationmark
Life...Sucks...I don't know why. I just feel that life is horrible, and I feel like ending it as soon as possible. It's like, my life has no meaning. I can't explain the feeling. Well, I sorta can. It feels...hopeless. I feel like whatever I try to attain, I shall fail. Like, no matter what you do, no matter how you try, you're always going to get the short end of the stick. I look back, and I miss so much stuff, and it hurts. But most of all, I hate the fact that I never took the chance to talk to someone who was important to me. Yes, a girl.
She made life bare able. Whenever I was with her, I felt hope. I felt that I could take on the entire world, and come out on top. With her, I felt freedom. I didn't have to look cool for her. I didn't care. I was just me. And she never looked down on me (well, sometimes, but only if i was being a really big jackass). The only thing I felt that I could talk to her about was how I felt about her. I regret it everyday now that I never see her, that I never took the chance with her, and that I never actually tried anything with her. I miss the freedom I had when I was with her. I miss how she gave me the everything I ever wanted, and never really asked for anything in return (not that I could ever do what she did).
I'm not afraid to say this, because it's true. I can actually say this about her, because, I swore to myself, not to lie to myself ever again. I loved her. I still do. I dream of her. It's the only thing I look forward to when I go to sleep. And at the slim chance that I MIGHT run into her is what gets me going in the morning. What gets me dressed, bathe. and all the other necessities, for the day.
I don't know. It's my first heart break, one of many to come. But I hope that someday, to you, the person who reads this post, and everyone out there, will meet the person who makes you feel this way, and I hope you're not stupid like me, and give up the chance to make it permanent.
So there. That's my random thought of the day, hour, w/e.
I'm gonna go meet my dream girl now. later y'all.
Ethan
Note:I wrote this about 3 months ago. I decided to post it, for my next topic.
She made life bare able. Whenever I was with her, I felt hope. I felt that I could take on the entire world, and come out on top. With her, I felt freedom. I didn't have to look cool for her. I didn't care. I was just me. And she never looked down on me (well, sometimes, but only if i was being a really big jackass). The only thing I felt that I could talk to her about was how I felt about her. I regret it everyday now that I never see her, that I never took the chance with her, and that I never actually tried anything with her. I miss the freedom I had when I was with her. I miss how she gave me the everything I ever wanted, and never really asked for anything in return (not that I could ever do what she did).
I'm not afraid to say this, because it's true. I can actually say this about her, because, I swore to myself, not to lie to myself ever again. I loved her. I still do. I dream of her. It's the only thing I look forward to when I go to sleep. And at the slim chance that I MIGHT run into her is what gets me going in the morning. What gets me dressed, bathe. and all the other necessities, for the day.
I don't know. It's my first heart break, one of many to come. But I hope that someday, to you, the person who reads this post, and everyone out there, will meet the person who makes you feel this way, and I hope you're not stupid like me, and give up the chance to make it permanent.
So there. That's my random thought of the day, hour, w/e.
I'm gonna go meet my dream girl now. later y'all.
Ethan
Note:I wrote this about 3 months ago. I decided to post it, for my next topic.
Wednesday, August 8, 2007
Death
Death is not something we as human beings, should fear. It is an inevitable fate that all beings share, whether we like it or not.
In fact, I believe that most people don't fear death, but what comes with death. Some people fear the end of a journey. Some people fear the idea of being forgotten, of not living their dreams, of mistakes, the list goes on.
Most people will lie on their death bed, and regret everything they have or have not done. They don't enjoy their last few moments of their life. They instead, waste it over things that have happened already, thinking "what if?"
"What if I stayed in school?" or "What if I went out with the high school bitch?" stuff like that.
Some people know that, when there time is up, will die with content. They are happy with what they accomplished, and accept that it is time to move on.
And there are few people, who don't care whether they live or die. They don't care if they hurt anyone, or how deeply it scars a person to hear such thoughts of just giving up. Out of all the three types of dieing people, these type of people are the most shameful out of all three. Because, out of all three types, this one, has the choice of living or dieing.
Now, Why am I talking about death? Because I'm depressed right now. And I'm hating every god damn minute of my life.
Is this a suicide post? No. It's not. Though I'm really really tempted into making this post into one, because I have too many people counting on me to keep on living, and to succeed, and I'm not letting them down.
I'm talking about death, because, I've seen my fair share of it at a young age, and never took the time to understand it. Now, I do understand death, and I'm not afraid of it anymore. I can't, because, right now, every emotion that I have, Anger, sadness, happiness, are just being drained from me. I'm turning into a soulless shell of a person, and I can't do anything to stop it.
I don't want to think anymore. Because I just keep coming back to the topic of death, of dieing, and it's really depressing.
Death is the end of one journey, and a possible start of the next. Death is about acceptance. Acceptance of what you have accomplished, of what you have done, and what you haven't done. Death is the one, and only fate that each person cannot escape, and must, in the end reach it.
Ethan
In fact, I believe that most people don't fear death, but what comes with death. Some people fear the end of a journey. Some people fear the idea of being forgotten, of not living their dreams, of mistakes, the list goes on.
Most people will lie on their death bed, and regret everything they have or have not done. They don't enjoy their last few moments of their life. They instead, waste it over things that have happened already, thinking "what if?"
"What if I stayed in school?" or "What if I went out with the high school bitch?" stuff like that.
Some people know that, when there time is up, will die with content. They are happy with what they accomplished, and accept that it is time to move on.
And there are few people, who don't care whether they live or die. They don't care if they hurt anyone, or how deeply it scars a person to hear such thoughts of just giving up. Out of all the three types of dieing people, these type of people are the most shameful out of all three. Because, out of all three types, this one, has the choice of living or dieing.
Now, Why am I talking about death? Because I'm depressed right now. And I'm hating every god damn minute of my life.
Is this a suicide post? No. It's not. Though I'm really really tempted into making this post into one, because I have too many people counting on me to keep on living, and to succeed, and I'm not letting them down.
I'm talking about death, because, I've seen my fair share of it at a young age, and never took the time to understand it. Now, I do understand death, and I'm not afraid of it anymore. I can't, because, right now, every emotion that I have, Anger, sadness, happiness, are just being drained from me. I'm turning into a soulless shell of a person, and I can't do anything to stop it.
I don't want to think anymore. Because I just keep coming back to the topic of death, of dieing, and it's really depressing.
Death is the end of one journey, and a possible start of the next. Death is about acceptance. Acceptance of what you have accomplished, of what you have done, and what you haven't done. Death is the one, and only fate that each person cannot escape, and must, in the end reach it.
Ethan
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