Ha ha...

Disclamer: I am a horrible writer, I don’t give a shit. I will state that this is VERY EMO, even I know that and I’m typing this.

I wrote this in a very emo moment that happened just recently. To be exact, about 2 days ago. I really prefer not to be emo or to keep my emo moments to myself, but, right now, I`m doing this for god knows what reason. So here goes, my crappy emo literature:

Love.

It has now set description, and cannot be explained easily. It can be the wind caressing your face, or the sun blazing brightly down upon you, burning you if you are not careful, or ready.

It is what makes us feel. For with it, comes a multitude of emotions. Happiness, when you feel as if you are complete. Anger, at the thought of those you love being hurt in anyways. Sadness, knowing that it shall never be returned, no matter what you pay for it to happen.

Love causes a number of problems that cannot be fathomed until witnessed. I hope, that someday, if you are ever unlucky to have your heart broken, that is by a gentle person. A person who never meant to intentionally harm you in anyway. If they do break your heart, I hope they at least try to comfort you, and allow you to heal.

Because you sure as hell didn’t do that to me. But I don’t want you to ever go through what you did to me. Never.

Love it or hate it, I don’t give a shit right now. Because I’m in alot of pain right now, and this is helping me to deal with it. If you somehow read through that shit without puking your guts out, kudos to you.

If you read through it, and feel that I was emo, you’re an idiot, because I warned you 3 times that this entire piece was written by me in a very emo time.

Thoughts for the day. I’m gonna go sleep some stuff off. Later gator.

I'm Sorry.

I don't know why I'm saying this to you, but I'm sorry. I really can't handle the silent treatment well, and I can't take it anymore.

I don't know what I did, And I probably will never know. And maybe that's whats so saddening about this entire ordeal. I can't even make up for it, and I don't think I ever will.

I'll do what I can do. I'll try living day by day without thinking about you. If I survive even after 3 days, I will be amazed, because right now, the pain I feel right now is practically unbareable.

Maybe someday I get over you. Maybe someday won't come. who knows?


So like, ya. I pretty much wrote this when I had my heart shattered again. I seriously gotta stop picking girls that can do that...

I just decided to post this now because right now, I feel like I'm alone (and in reality, I am.) And I decided to type it up.

I'll be adding more after this...


Yeah. So me being alone. It's really hard for me to open up to someone. Really hard. It's how I've dealt with a bunch of stuff in the past. And When I do let someone, it usually ends up in heartache.

So I cut myself off. This may be my last post. It doesn't really matter to me anymore though. It takes so much will power not to end it now, I always thought. But maybe its not. Maybe you don't need that much will power to keep living, but alot to just end it.

So Like...

You know the forever unanswered question of what is the meaning of life? I've always stood behind my theory that the meaning of life is for each and every person to find their own meaning of life, which could be a number of things for different people.

Just recently, I have realized that all my life, I have always found escape. That I have never enjoyed my life. I have never felt free. Going out with friends, Reading books, Playing video games, watching movies.

Which is why I have a new theory. The meaning of life is not to find one it is to find freedom that will allow them to grow and never have to look for escape from reality.

So yeah. Done for now. I'll post when I feel like it.

I have come to a conclusion

I love being online. It serves, as an escape. It allows a person to escape their problems. And I find it ironic, that I am finding comfort by typing this out on the internet, but thats beside the point. Being online allows you a number of things, such as hiding how you are. Instead of meeting someone face to face, you hide from each other under a facade of emotionlessness.

(Note: By the way, if any talk about emotions or what not is mentioned, whatsoever, your branded emo. At this point in time, I don't give a fuck, so If you don't like emo, either suck it up, or go fuck yourself and leave.)

Sometimes its good to hide your emotions. Some people don't know if your mad, scared, happy, or whatnot. At the same time, no one knows if your sad, suicidal, or anything. And if all you do is stay within the online world, alot of people may not know if something is going on, that the person needs help. I don't know. Maybe I'm overly sensitive. Or maybe I'm just tired of everything so far. I don't know. Maybe...maybe its a sign. A sign that I am one of the few people who shouldn't be here. Whatever. In the end, it doesn't make a difference.

So anyways, I have come to an understanding of many things. Maybe some of you know about all of what I'm about to say, or some of what I am going to say.

I see did a lot of things. Some stuff I'm not proud of, but I did them. I smoked cigarettes. I don't see why damaging your lungs helps you with anything, but I guess the nicotine helps calm your nerves. I got smashed once. It was the best night ever. It seemed to make everything for me be happy. I've even gone so far as to cut myself. It hurts, but I guess if your in that much pain, sometimes it makes it easy for you to forget about it.

This it for now. I'm tired and I never want to think again. Til next time.